So today I have been having problems with muscle cramps in my back.  I am not real sure where they harvested the muscle flaps from but I seem to only really have issues on my lower right side.  They give you Valium for this sort of thing but sometimes it’s just not enough to cut it.  You can see it move and cramp and ripple on my back almost like I have a tiny human moving around back there like you would see on a pregnant ladies belly.  Wouldn’t that be some shit, “lady goes in to have a bilateral mastectomy and has first ever back baby” hahahahahahahaha.

On the upside of things, I CAN SHOWER!!!!!I no longer smell like a trash compactor! I mean, come on people, there is only so much a sink bath can do for a person. Really.

So, my mom and I were talking the other day and we were discussing the topic of my modesty.  I for the most part am a modest person.  But after having this procedure done, I really have no modesty when it comes to showing people my chest.  Now, if you said to me, “hey, pull your pants down let me see your butt cheeks” I would probably faint.  So I have been thinking about why I have had this change of heart when it comes to my chest and it boils down to this — my chest is no longer my chest.  It is in the sense that it is on my body, and my skin does cover it, but the tissue inside is no longer my own ( implant), my nipples are no longer mine, reconstructed from other areas, so I guess that I now feel as though my chest is a work of art.  To me it is not different than taking a plain blob of clay and constructing it into a beautiful sculpture.  I now see my chest as an amazing piece of art that keeps getting reworked to be made more beautiful.  And I am very thankful to God that he blessed people on this earth to be able to have the mind and talent to make my body back into that beautiful piece of art that He constructed in the first place.  And, in this instance, maybe even a little more aesthetically pleasing.  So, even though this situation may not be optimal, and it may hurt, and may not be easy, there are many blessings along the way and there is so much for me to be thankful for.

Like  the fact that I can kick my moms ass at Dr. Mario.