I was looking over my site and was checking out all of my pics, and realized under all of these pictures of gruesome drains, incisions, secretions and swelling is my niece. I think she deserves her own post, not one with a bunch of boobs!

I’m not the only one experiencing wonderfulness today though. My sweet little niece Emma Kate got a pony, which she named McDonald, who has Tina Turner hair. Here is a pic of her riding McDonald.
Now there my friends, is some wonderfulness!


I will no longer accept the excuse of “I don’t know how to cook” from my husband. Eric woke me up this morning to make sure that I had taken my medicine, which I hadn’t because for the first time since my surgery I slept in until 0945. It was awesome. Anyways….he asked what I wanted for breakfast and since I need to push the protein I said eggs. He made me an egg sandwich and didn’t ask me once how to do something. It was delicious. And nice. But, poor Eric, the excuse of “I don’t know how to cook” will never work again.

Christmas Sausage

I seriously feel like an over stuffed sausage. This seroma is out of control and now I have a second one on my lower left side making my love handles look even larger.
Seroma 1
Seroma 2

I feel like an over stuffed sausage. I feel horrible. My back hurts, my skin feels tight, my ROM is limited, it hurts under my armpits, and I feel like someone stuck a tube in me and filled me up with water. I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame!!! Right now I feel lucky that my sensations are dulled because I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable so I can only imagine how horrible this would be if I had all my feeling. Seromas are very common after this surgery, but this one on my upper right side is HUGE. Of course it has to happen when the office is closed, but it’s been a few days so what are a few more? Patience is a virtue. Hopefully I will be able to get an appointment on Monday. I worry about all the pressure on my back incisions. I don’t know if my body is absorbing any of the fluid adding to the additional all over body discomfort or what, but I feel like a punching bag that’s been repeatedly punched. I have PT on Tuesday, but I have a sinking feeling they are gonna have to put the drain back in. If it makes me feel better, I really don’t care. Oh well, could be worse! I could have full sensation!

Seroma city

I wake up this morning and my right side and arm are feeling a little odd, thought nothing of it, I just thought that maybe I slept funny. Went about my day and eventually get around to taking a shower, take my clothes off and happen to glance in the mirror.
Left side
This is my left side, looks pretty normal, no problems there.
Right side
This is my right side. Very different as you can see. It’s larger now. Pretty sure I have a seroma. So I just kinda did my exercises hoping it was just some swelling and would go away. It just keeps getting bigger and it’s tight. So at this point I think maybe I should call the Dr. to see if I should do anything about this. Did I mention I am a genius? The office is closed and I get the answering service and apparently Dr. Greaney likes to talk to his patients directly so they call the poor guy at home and I got to talk to him. I bet he was pumped! I mean, who wouldn’t want to talk to me the day after Christmas on one of only times you get off all year. What a lucky guy. He confirmed that yes it was probably a seroma and it’s completely normal, happens frequently, and it’s nothing to worry about. He said it would most likely get bigger, oh joy! And that there is no need for me to go to the emergency room or drive to Philly. It can wait until my PT appointment on Tuesday. Made me feel better mentally, but didn’t make my back feel much better. Apparently there is nothing you can do to help alleviate a seroma except to have a large needle stuck into your back and have the fluid sucked out. I seriously can’t wait for that. I don’t think I will be able to sleep for the next few nights out of excitement!!!! Uh, no. Part of the deal, I get it, I just gotta suck it up, put on my big girl panties, and let them poke me. I guess the other day when I said I was feeling like an over stuffed sausage being slowly baked, I was closer to the actual thing than I thought. You poke me and warm fluid comes out. Awesome.

Merry Titmas to all and to all good breast health

This morning was TOUGH. So I got my drain out yesterday, all wonderful news, buy it was in for 7 weeks. Felt fine after they pulled the drain, then got in the car, drove home, did my exercises, packed up all the gifts, said goodbye to my babies Vee and Lola (really hate that they have to be kenneled) then got the hermit crabs all setted in the car (Gabe got hermit crabs all set up in a habitat that I have been caring for all week) got back in the car, went to the pharmacy, got prescriptions filled, and then got in the car to drive home. Well the hermit crabs need to stay very warm so my dad and I have the heat blasting, it’s literally about 97 degrees in the car and we drive to Reedsville (2 hr 10 min drive). I got expanded at the dr.’s so at this point I feel like an over packed sausage that is being slowly baked. We made it home fine and by the time I went to bed, my back, the side where they pulled the drain was hurting. So I go to bed, prop myself up and fall asleep, i was exhausted. I wake up this morning in horrible pain on the side where I got the drain out. I don’t know if it’s because I have more sensation there now or what , but the whole right side of my body from my hip to my shoulder hurt badly. I am pretty good with pain, and honestly this was the most uncomfortable that I had been since 1st day post op. I am assuming when you have an 18 inch drain in your back and it gets taken out, there will be some stiffness and muscle aches . Well, let me tell you what. It hurt until about 3:30, pain medicine is a wonderful thing. I was able then to enjoy my family at our annual Christmas party and was able to go to church at 1100 . Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. Tonight I got to see most of my family and some wonderful old friends! Merry Christmas (Titmas) everyone ! Hope you have a great holiday!


I am on the way to the plastic surgeon (my dad is driving) and for the first time I am nervous. I really want this drain out, the numbers look good (>30cc over 24 hrs) but it’s still cloudy. I want this drain out so bad but I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I’m sure there will be another expansion today, but that’s no biggie, tomorrow is when I will feel that, but one Percocet helps with that feeling. Doesn’t take it away but makes it tolerable. Keep your fingers crossed. I’m feeling like I could poop my pants/vomit I am that anxious. Not rational I know, but whew lets get this over with. If it doesn’t come out, no big deal, I have had it this long what’s another week? In the grand scheme of things it’s nothing. Send some prayers/ keep your fingers crossed for me!

Cloudy drains and fire throwing turtles

Today was a pretty good day. I woke up with a headache, stupid sinuses. I wanted to sleep in, but of course I was up at 7:45. Came out on the couch and just laid there. Took some meds for my headache, and vegged out. My Dad made me some of his delicious waffles again. If that doesn’t start your day off right then I don’t know what will.

I am a little worried because since the last PT appointment, my JP drainage has been cloudy. I am on an antibiotic, have been since November 13. Yes, I am taking a probiotic. I DO NOT want C-Diff. This one stupid drain…
Cloudy JP

I have an appointment Monday so we shall see what he says. I have a feeling that my Christmas wish of getting that drain out is not gonna happen. Oh well.

We completed the fire throwing turtle today. I drew it and colored the letters and fireball, but my Dad had to color the rest of the turtle because I couldn’t keep my arms up that long and they were getting tired. Hopefully he looks at it.

I had to miss my best friend Pam’s baby sex revealing party tonight. She lives on Long Island, and I wanted to be there so bad, but I have a hard time just traveling to Philly and I knew it would be too much. P, I am so sorry I missed your big day, but I am super pumped that G video taped it for me!!!! Congrats on the soon to be little lady Furey! Love her already!

Merry Titmas!

I got home from the madness of Target with my Dad today and there were many many packages on my doorstep. Only one was addressed to me (I LOVE ANY KIND OF MAIL) so of course I ripped right into it! This is what it was:
For those of you who don’t know, Sharies Berries are fist sized chocolate covered strawberries and they are delicious!!!! Between me, my Dad and Eric we are rationing them. They are delicious. You know what the best part of it was? That the card said “Merry Titmas love Aunt Kim, Uncle Mark, Jordan, Taylor and Zane”. I love my family! Thanks guys!


Ever since last Sunday when that stuff happened with my drain, I have been feeling blah. I don’t feel good, but I don’t feel horrible. I just feel blah.

Today was my appointment with my breast surgeon who did my mastectomy. I would recommend her to anyone who is thinking about having this done. I didn’t ask her permission to state her name on my blog but if anyone out there would like her information, please let me know and I will be more than happy to give you the info. Same with the plastic surgeon. Anyways, she took a look and think things are healing very nicely. She doesn’t need to see me for another 6 months so that’s cool! One less trip to Philly so frequently.

I think that I have been out and about more this week, drove to Philly 3 days this week for three different appointments, one being PT, and it really tired me out. That’s why I think I’m feeling blah. Plus I got expanded. That adds to it to. I think the following is something people don’t understand or don’t realize. I may look put together and have a smile on my face when you see me, but I don’t always feel that way. It takes so long to get your body into shape, but takes such a short time to recondition. Waking up, getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, taking care of your drains, getting dressed, brushing your hair, drying your hair, putting on your shoes, eating breakfast, taking your medicine, and getting out the door to go to the dr. is something that most people do daily with no problem. They don’t even think about it. But for me it’s like running a mile and doing an arm workout. I need a nap after that. Three days of that where you leave at 8 and don’t get home til 6 took its toll on me this week. I am recovering, and I am recovering very quickly and well, but it’s still a bit of a struggle every day. And each day will get better, this I know. But some days just suck.

If it weren’t for my Mom, my Dad, my husband, my sister Annie, my daily calls from my brother Michael, and the daily cards from GiGi, and all of the love,support,cards,happy thoughts and prayers from all of you this would have been sooooooooooooooooo much worse. Thank you. I don’t think I will ever be able to thank you all enough.

Rubber band

So PT was rough. It always will be, I get this, and when it’s not, that means that I don’t need it anymore. Traffic to Philly was horrendous. We were only 20 mins late, no big deal. So this time they put moist heat on both shoulders for about 20 minutes. Then Richard (Mr. PT who is awesome) came in and stretched and poked and pinched and pulled and lifted for about 25 minutes. Then I did all of my exercises with my stretching in front of the tech. Apparently I am doing them all correctly. Point for me! Then, Richard came in and reworked both sides of my arms, pecs, and back again for another 30 mins. When I leave there my upper body feels like a rubber band that was stretched to far. By the time I get home, and traffic was bad, I felt like a stretched rubber band who was placed in a cup of water and shrunk tighter than it was to start. This is temporary I know, and it will prevent me from being the hunchback of Mertztown who can’t lift her arms past her chin. Sometimes you just have to focus on the end goal and forget all the crap in the middle and that’s what it is, crap. I will get there. I can put on a T-shirt, blow dry my hair and shower myself. I’m getting there.


Have another PT appointment tomorrow. Can’t wait. Hopefully this will be my last PT in Philly, there is someone they recommend here in Reading so hopefully that will cut down one trip to Philly weekly. This week we get to go 3 times. I have an appointment with the breast surgeon on Thursday. It can never work out where they all happen on the same day. Trust me, I have tried. I’m tired. Physically and mentally. Just tired. I was really sore today just like the Dr. said I would be. Nothing horrible, just discomfort. I’ve been working my PT like a machine this week so hopefully this week won’t be so bad. I do it like crazy every week, but I have lots to do now as compared to the first week. We shall see tomorrow…

I got another drain out

Had an appointment today with the plastic surgeon and got my left lat drain out. I was so happy I almost cried. 5 weeks to have a drain is a long time in my world. I told the nurse I was nervous that it was gonna hurt and she said I really should only feel a little pinch when she cut the stitch. All I felt was like someone plucked a hair out. The next thing I know she is showing me my drain. I didn’t feel her pull it out at all. That thing was long. It really was 18 inches long. I was expecting it to be really gunky and gross but it wasn’t. I can’t wait to sleep on my side tonight!

So I was telling you about the pain and puffiness in the right side of my body around my drain. Well apparently when I did my PT exercises yesterday I loosened it up and it put out 260 mL of fluid. I talked to the Dr. About it, and it was still a little bit puffy, but he wasn’t concerned. He said it was most likely an area of fluid that hadn’t been reached and moved around while I was laying a certain way or did a certain exercise. He said the fluid looked normal, no foul odor, and the drain is draining well so he is not concerned and hopefully it can come out next week. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I had my first expansion today. It was an interesting experience. They use a little tool that is magnetic to find the port and made a mark where they are on both sides. Then they primed a 250 cc bag of saline, at the leur-lock he put in a 60 cc syringe. He pushed in my boob on the area where he was going to place the needle, and asked if I could feel pressure. I could but had no sensation. He put the needle in, felt nothing, and slowly pushed in the 60 cc. Did the same thing with my left side. I could feel the tightness, but not uncomfortable. The Dr. said tomorrow will be the day that I will be the most uncomfortable.

I posted pics under the Pictures page if you would like to see the results. If you don’t want to see my boobs, don’t look. There are parts that look like chicken skin because of some of the swelling, but he assured me that would go away when I am expanded to the right level.

PT on Wednesday….oh Joy! I wonder what wonderful ess they will have for me this time.

Sight and sound

Yesterday we traveled to Lancaster to the Sight and Sound Theatre to see the Miracle of Christmas. It was me, Gabriel, Annie, GiGi, Auma(my mom) and Pop (my dad). It started to snow a little bit on the way there, but nothing big. The show was awesome, which is funny to me because I HATE MUSICALS. I’m talking I have a serious issue with them. But this was really spectacular. The sets were amazing, the actors were good ( a little over the top, but I know it’s for little kids) and we had awesome seats. The show lasted about 3 hrs with an intermission.

Sight and sound

When we left it had snowed about 5 inches and the roads were horrible. We stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat on the way home, but it took us forever to get home safely. We all did though.

I woke up this morning in a bad way. Doing things like taking day trips like that are still too tough for me. My right drain was really bothering me, so I went into the bathroom to check it out and it had put out 100 mL and I had a large puffy area above the insertion site. It is definitely not right. I hurt like heck, especially when I took a deep breath. My dad, who is staying with me this week made me some jelly toast and Eric got me some fruit cocktail so I could eat something to take pain meds. I did not want to eat, but I know I needed to in order to take pain medicine. Thank goodness for pain medicine. It got me to the point where I could get up, brush my teeth, get changed and do my exercises. Well sometime while I was doing my exercises, something must have broken loose in my drain because it started to pour out fluid. The puffy spot has gone way down and it doesn’t hurt to take a deep breath my more. So far my drain has put out another 60 ml, so it doesn’t look like I am getting it out at my appointment tomorrow, but there is a chance I may get my left drain out. Fingers crossed.

Eric just went out to get us lunch :). I have to pack down the protein, but it was nice of him to offer to run out to get food on a football Sunday.

Have a dr.’s appointment tomorrow morning with the plastics guy, he was hoping to start to expand, we shall see,I don’t know if they do that when you still have drains.

I will keep you posted.

So my mom had to go home on Thursday because she had to work, so Eric got to take care of me. He cooked some rice, heated up some peas, and cooked a turkey breast for dinner. It was delicious, but honestly if I never see another piece of turkey again I will be happy. Turkey is good when it is first made, but when it’s reheated, it tastes totally different. And I hate it.

I sleep in the recliner every night because it’s easier for me to get comfy. I am a side sleeper, so rolling over onto those drains is pretty painful. So, if I sleep in the recliner, there is little possibility that I will roll over. So anyways, Eric slept on the couch next to the recliner all night incase I needed anything during the night. I set all of my alarms for my med times and got all my medicine ready, and he woke up when the alarms went off to remind me take my meds. He rearranged his meetings so he could take stay with me til noon. So I would only have to be alone a few hours before my sister Annie got here.

I passed my time drawing a pink teenage mutant ninja turtle that throws fire on my nephews Christmas present box. Apparently Greyson’s favorite color right now is pink and he keeps talking about a fire throwing turtle (they do not exist) but he is going to get a drawing of one!!!!
But then Jenn got to come and visit and she brought me lunch!!!! Awesome! It was so nice to see a familiar face! I still can’t drive anywhere so it is so nice when someone comes to visit!

Annie and Gabe got here and it was very nice to spend time with just Gabe. Such a cool,kid. He beat me at chutes and ladders. That made him pretty happy.

Tomorrow we are all to go to the Sight and Sound Theatre to see the Christmas Story but we are,to get bad weather so hopefully we still can! I am looking forward to it. I have never been there, but I hear it’s awesome!!!! Can’t wait.

Today sucks

Every day after physical therapy is usually a hard day for me, but today is especially bad. I got worked over twice yesterday, got new exercises, and moved up a step in band strength from red to green. My physical therapy totaled 2 hrs and 15 minutes yesterday. That’s a lot of arm and boob manipulation. I didn’t particularly feel good when I got up this morning but I figured if I drank a cup of coffee and just got up and moving I would feel better. So I get up, get myself together, and decide to just go ahead and get my therapy over with. Dude. the regular exercises went ok with the tougher band, but then the 4 other new exercises added to my routine really were difficult. It hurt, and was no fun. BUT I DID IT. ALL OF IT. I had to sit down at one point because I thought I was gonna pass out, but I did it. Then we have all the new stretching exercises. Stretching feels good, but after doing these exercises stretching is no fun. I really had a hard time. I was mad at my self because I couldn’t just do this and be done with it, I had to struggle. And yes, I struggled. After I was all done I just had to sit there for a while. My armpits were quivering. Have you ever had your armpits quiver? It’s a weird sensation. Trust me. Once my body relaxed and I calmed down I decided to take a pain pill. Good idea. But bad idea because I didn’t eat anything with it. I know better than to do that. Sometimes i really am a dumbass, but I was hurting and not thinking. Guess what happened? About 20 minutes later I feel like I am gonna scream daisies. So I make some lemon ginger tea (thanks Casey) sniff on an alcohol pad (the tricks you learn in PACU) and force myself to eat something. The thought of eating something made me wanna yak, but I knew if I could just get something down I would feel better. You should have seen me, I’m sure it was hilarious….sniffing an alcohol pad cramming ritz crackers down my throat as fast as I could because if I didn’t do it fast there was no way I would be able to get them down.
I am sweating at this point. I DO NOT WANNA PUKE. I was saying this over and over, it was my mantra, my mom was laughing cause I kept saying “I’m not gonna puke, I’m not gonna puke,I’m not gonna puke”
Well, so far I haven’t puked, my mom made me some rice, and I’m feeling less nauseated.

My drain holes hurt. These things are a pain in the ass. It’s been a month. I know there are millions of people out there that have way worse things going on with them than two stupid drains and I shouldn’t complain, but today I just can’t help it. I have them taped so they don’t move around. I am a side sleeper, and I haven’t been able to sleep on my side for a whole month. Blah. I want you all to see that this sucks sometimes and I have bad days. And today sucks a big one. But……it’s only 1251 and it can only get better from here, so here is to a better rest of the day.

I hope everyone out there is having a good day, and if not, that sucks and I feel your pain, and I hope your day gets better.


I am by no means any kind of expert in this area, don’t claim to be, but if there is anyone out there that reads this and has any questions or comments, please ask away. I’ll do my best to give you an honest answer or the answer that I know from my experience. I realize it’s different for all, but if I can help anyone in any way, please don’t hesitate. I’ll do my best to answer ASAP

PT double time and a little nugget named Kennedy

so today I got to do double the PT. First I met with a woman who worked the crap out of my arms. Apparently, my range of motion is 160. This is great, but HOLY CRAP IT HURTS! She taught me some new wonderful exercises that make me feel as though my arms are gonna pop out of the sockets like Barbies can. It was GREAT! She also gave me a green band. Wooohhhhooooo. I had red before. I liked the red better. It was easier. Lol.

Then they send in the PT tech who gives me more exercises with names like the seatbelt and the sword.


Gotta love the images. That’s some super quality, but for simpletons like me that works! We did all of these exercises (7) 10x each. Yay! It was sooo much fun. Then the other PT guy comes in.

His big focus for me is protein. I eat more on the vegetarian side of things so he has really been stressing my need for protein. I have been eating tons! Eggs, beans, meat, cottage cheese. You name it, if it has protein I’m shoving it down the gullet.

Well then I had the pleasure of getting reworked by him. Yes, he was super dooper impressed with my progress, but WOW it hurt. He did a lot of lat massage. The plastic surgeon had to take my entire lat to use and they are laying on top of my chest wall. So my lats, still connected to my shoulders are now the base (the bottom part of my boob) I had the pleasure of having these roughly massaged today. It’s like having a really bad cramp in your back, the grissle kind and having someone continually place very firm pressure on it for about 15 minutes. Each side. Fun, fun. Fun fun fun fun fun FUN. it was so much fun I whistled zippity do dah out my butthole!

Ok, so enough about me, I want to tell everyone that my beautiful friend Stacy Anderson and her husband Travis had a beautiful baby girl Kennedy Grace on December 3rd. She was 5 weeks early, but mom, baby, and dad are all doing well. They have made it home, but she is recovering from a c-section which I can imagine is much harder than what I am doing. Please pray for them, this is their first child and they need all the love, prayers, and positive thoughts that they can get. Stacy is a good friend of mine, one of the best, so please, take a minute to celebrate another wonderful little person that made it into this world. Congrats Stacy and Travis!!!! God is good.

Hair talk

Yesterday I had my second post-op appointment. I was really excited about maybe getting my drains out because the numbers had dropped under 30 (just once) so I knew it was too good to be true. The nurse stripped the drains and apparently there were clots clogging off both, and once loosened, the fluid started pouring out. Apparently I was really puffy around the drains, it’s just hard for me to notice because of the chub. Lol. Sooooooo, looks like the drains will still be in for a while. It’s been a month, hopefully not much longer.

I had my discussion with my doctor about my hair loss. It was not pulled out, I had a pressure ulcer. It had rubbed my hair completely off, but didn’t progress to skin breakdown. He looked at it, and boy was he pissed. He apologized profusely and said that should never happen, and got on the phone with anesthesia and had a nice discussion.

I got prescribed more antibiotics YAY!!!!!!! So I will be on them for the next 48 days.

So the doc takes a look at my boobs and he says “we did such a good job. They are gonna look awesome!” Yes, I was pretty excited about that. I am still molting like a reptile using aquaphor and all so I’m gonna take the loofah to the girls and slough it all off.

I have PT again tomorrow, yippee. I wonder what kind of fabulousness I will encounter tomorrow. It sucks, but I must say, the range of motion I have in my upper extremities is amazing. I am struggling with a decision about my PT. I will need to have it throughout the entire expansion process. The man who does my PT in Philly is awesome, but there is an option for me to have it here in Reading. I just worry that I will not get the awesome work done on my body that this man does. That’s a discussion I will have with him tomorrow.

So I see my doc next Monday and hopefully the drains come out and there is a possibility that the expansion process can be started. We shall see.

Oh yeah, I can wear deodorant now!!!!! I was anyway, but if got the official OK from the doc on Monday.

And…for all of you who have been asking, I will be posting pics of my tatas so you can see but I wanna wait until the expansion process starts so you can see the gradual differences. So I will post them under the picture page so if you don’t want to see it don’t look on the pic page;)

Rainbows and butterflies

I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this surgery/recovery is all rainbows and butterflies. It sucks, it hurts, a lot of the times it feels like I have beach balls underneath my armpits. Mornings are the worst time for me. I have a hard time getting going in the morning. My body is tight from laying in one position (I still can’t lay on my side because of these stupid drains.)
I have to do PT everyday, and it hurts, I can’t do simple things for myself like lift up a grocery bag. But, I chose this and I wouldn’t have made a different decision. So to some it seems like this is easy for me because maybe someone has done my hair and I have normal clothes on and a smile on my face, but this IS HARD. So please, if this is something you are contemplating having done realize that it is difficult.

But…I am a believer in mind over matter. Your mind is WAY stronger than any part of your body. If you tell yourself you can do something and remind yourself that pain and recovery are temporary all will be fine and soon be normal.

My appointment with my plastic surgeon is tomorrow. We will be having a discussion about my boobs, hair, and the fact that the hospital had my weight as 350 some odd pounds. Hopefully these stupid drains come out, but I am pretty sure they will be in a little longer. They are still putting out too much fluid. Better to get that fluid out than keep it in right?

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Oh and I can’t wait till Tuesday. Love you ladies.


Sometimes people ask me why it seems that my recovery is “easier” than other peoples, and I wouldn’t say that it is, but I am surrounded by some of the most wonderful people that a person could have in their life. I wanna share an email I received from a very good friend of mine who lives far away with his wife and children and if I am lucky, I get to see them maybe twice a year. (I miss your guts Marya) These people were in my wedding, and I am lucky to be able to call them friends. The other night I was sitting on the couch having a really, really crappy day and get an email from Brock. The title is “dude”. He said he has been trying to post a comment on my site, but has not been able to for some reason, so I feel comfortable sharing this with you all.  Here is the email:

dude I have visited your wordpress page for 3 days straight wanting to leave you a comment and my  computer won’t let me. So call me old fashion but I am gonna go all email on you because I just have to say this.

You are amazing. i have always loved your company and thought you were an awesome person and I am not trying to be all sentimental or patronizing here but I find this journey you are traveling to be so daunting and you are persevering better then anyone I have ever known. Who knew one could look at such adversity in the eye and smile? That strength is inspiring. You Traci, inspire me, to be a better me. 

That is the nicest email I have ever received from a person, and Brock, I am blessed to be able to say you are my friend.  Anytime I am having a bad day, I will look at this email and read it to remind myself that I have someone out there (lots of people actually) that love me and are rooting for me.  This is why I think my recovery is “easier” than others.  God has blessed me beyond belief.  Thank you God.


Just some thoughts….

So I was thinking about taking a picture of my boobs and putting them on a Christmas card with a message that says “Merry Tittmas!” I think it would be awesome, but I am not so sure the USPS would…

So I had physical therapy again today. holy crap does that stuff hurt. But, it’s for the greater good. Apparently PT with mastectomies and reconstructions are a new thing. Glad to know I will have normal function with the added bonus of nice looking boobies when this is all done. We stopped at McDonalds to get a nice nutritious breakfast and apparently I left a bunch behind. As I am sitting in the office waiting to be seen, I look down and stuck on my button is a large hunk of biscuit. Then I got to take my shirt off for the PT guy. The skin across my chest and under my armpits are so dry and flaky because of the stretching. I put aquaphor on that stuff religiously, but I still look like a molting reptile. Oh my goodness I am one sexy beast! I got some new exercises to do today. They gave me an exercise band. Yippee!!!!! Oh so much fun. I mean really, does it get much better than this? I think not. But I will do them religiously everyday.

I am also taking Diazepam (Valium) for muscle cramping and apparently my dosage was too high so I have been slurring like a drunk for the past week. Needless to say, they decreased the dosage. Unfortunately I did not get these stupid drains out. But, I have found out that the pieces of tissues that get stuck in them really make my mom gag. That’s payback for her chasing me around the house with her mole when I was little. Oh Karma!

Hopefully these drains will come out on Monday at my next appointment. They are each 18 inches inside my back on each side and really are irritating. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I will also be speaking with my doc about the whole hair thing then. Should prove to be an eventful visit.

Hopefully my mom won’t fall off the couch in the middle of the night tonight and wake me up. If you know me at all, I didn’t ask her if she was ok, I just laughed for about 45 mins. I still laugh thinking about it. Don’t worry, she was ok and she laughed just as hard.


This post is for me to thank ALL of the people who made this horrible day I hAd so nice. I had a really really bad day. I have started physical therapy, it sucked the first day the guy manipulated my arms. I’m talking the kind of pain where no sound comes out of your mouth. Well, he gave me these exercises to do at home 2x daily. And yes, I do them. What would be the point of all of this if I’m not gonna do what’s necessary to get better. Well, it hurts, and I have no pain medicine. So I do the exercises in the morning, take some Tylenol and take a nap. When I wake up, this is what my house looks like:
My mom decorated my entire house for Christmas. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? Pretty freaking awesome.

So then I do my second set of exercises before dinner and my mom went out to get the mail and in the mail is a card from my Grandma. She has sent me a card every single day since my surgery. THIS IS AWESOME. I love that she takes time every day to think of me and send me love. Also in the mail was a package from the WOCN team at the hospital. Liz and Kersten sent me a card and in this card was this years Sabika breast cancer awareness necklace with a card. HOW UNBELIEVABLY NICE WAS THAT?
Also, my brother Michael calls me on the phone every single day, sometimes once, sometimes twice, sometimes 3 times. I LOVE this. I count on his calls every day and it just makes my days that much better.

So thank you Mom, Grandma, Liz, Kersten, and Michael. You made a really shitty day a pretty good one

Chunk of hair

So one of the few things I remember directly after surgery was feeling like someone ripped a huge chunk of hair out of my head.  You know that feeling that you get that burns when your hair gets pulled out?  Well I remember saying this over and over again to everyone that came into the room (apparently I told Eric about 60 million times) well everyone just blew it off I guess they just chalked it up to me still being heavily sedated.  Ok fine.  So I told my nurse the next day that my head burned and that my arms hurt and she said that my arms hurt from the positioning, and just blew off the fact that my head hurt.  Told my night nurse that night along with every person I talked to.  Told the dr.’s still, no response to the head thing. Ok I figure I must just be being a big wimp and that must have been where my head was laying on my braid during surgery. Ok.  Suck it up trace.  So my sister was blow drying my hair on Saturday and she turns off the blow dryer and says “OH MY GOSH”. I couldn’t imagine what was wrong, did I have a tick in my head, was there some nasty zit back there and she grabs my camera and tells me to hold on.  She takes a pic and this is what it is.


That’s right people…it’s a large 3 inch section of my hair that got ripped out at some point during my surgery. I went in with my hair in a French braid and came out with my head hurting and my hair down. This next talk with my dr. Should be an interesting one.