It’s been a while since I have posted and there is a reason for that. This phase of my recovery has easily been the hardest part. It is hard to to work everyday. But the hardest part is trying to manage all of the other aspects of my life along with working a full time job. By the end of the day I am mentally and physically exhausted. There is cooking and cleaning, and bill paying and trying to figure out ways to schedule appointments, sick husbands, emergency vet trips, call, and two time a day PT. I by no means am complaining, I am just trying to adjust. I am adjusting, s l o w l y.
Everyday I am exhausted. Like if I sit down I won’t get back up kind of exhausted. But I get up and do it because I have to. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and just do it. My biggest problem is my back. Everyday after work it hurts. Some days are better than others, but today its particularly bad. Today was my 10th day of work in row. Two more to go and then I get a break. When is this back pain gonna end? I don’t know. But I do know it’s temporary and will soon stop. I’ve been having some pain under my armpits too but it’s all muscular from my lats. So when I come home I can take the Valium prescribed for the muscle spasms and there is relief. The muscle spasms are getting better in the front base of my breasts, but still very present in my under arm area.
I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for this transition. So I am trying very hard to hold it all together and get everything done. So 530 am wake ups, to get exercises and some chores done before work, then work, then home to cook dinner do some more chores only to pass out as late as I can possibly stand. Which is usually 10. Last week I got done with work early one day, came home, napped from 430-800 got up, used the bathroom, and went back to bed. I don’t even think I really sleep, I think I fall into a coma.
I will get it together, it’s just taking me a long time, and my body can only heal so fast. This is all temporary. That seems to be my mantra lately, I can do it, this is temporary.