Ever since last Sunday when that stuff happened with my drain, I have been feeling blah. I don’t feel good, but I don’t feel horrible. I just feel blah.

Today was my appointment with my breast surgeon who did my mastectomy. I would recommend her to anyone who is thinking about having this done. I didn’t ask her permission to state her name on my blog but if anyone out there would like her information, please let me know and I will be more than happy to give you the info. Same with the plastic surgeon. Anyways, she took a look and think things are healing very nicely. She doesn’t need to see me for another 6 months so that’s cool! One less trip to Philly so frequently.

I think that I have been out and about more this week, drove to Philly 3 days this week for three different appointments, one being PT, and it really tired me out. That’s why I think I’m feeling blah. Plus I got expanded. That adds to it to. I think the following is something people don’t understand or don’t realize. I may look put together and have a smile on my face when you see me, but I don’t always feel that way. It takes so long to get your body into shape, but takes such a short time to recondition. Waking up, getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, taking care of your drains, getting dressed, brushing your hair, drying your hair, putting on your shoes, eating breakfast, taking your medicine, and getting out the door to go to the dr. is something that most people do daily with no problem. They don’t even think about it. But for me it’s like running a mile and doing an arm workout. I need a nap after that. Three days of that where you leave at 8 and don’t get home til 6 took its toll on me this week. I am recovering, and I am recovering very quickly and well, but it’s still a bit of a struggle every day. And each day will get better, this I know. But some days just suck.

If it weren’t for my Mom, my Dad, my husband, my sister Annie, my daily calls from my brother Michael, and the daily cards from GiGi, and all of the love,support,cards,happy thoughts and prayers from all of you this would have been sooooooooooooooooo much worse. Thank you. I don’t think I will ever be able to thank you all enough.

Just some thoughts….

So I was thinking about taking a picture of my boobs and putting them on a Christmas card with a message that says “Merry Tittmas!” I think it would be awesome, but I am not so sure the USPS would…

So I had physical therapy again today. holy crap does that stuff hurt. But, it’s for the greater good. Apparently PT with mastectomies and reconstructions are a new thing. Glad to know I will have normal function with the added bonus of nice looking boobies when this is all done. We stopped at McDonalds to get a nice nutritious breakfast and apparently I left a bunch behind. As I am sitting in the office waiting to be seen, I look down and stuck on my button is a large hunk of biscuit. Then I got to take my shirt off for the PT guy. The skin across my chest and under my armpits are so dry and flaky because of the stretching. I put aquaphor on that stuff religiously, but I still look like a molting reptile. Oh my goodness I am one sexy beast! I got some new exercises to do today. They gave me an exercise band. Yippee!!!!! Oh so much fun. I mean really, does it get much better than this? I think not. But I will do them religiously everyday.

I am also taking Diazepam (Valium) for muscle cramping and apparently my dosage was too high so I have been slurring like a drunk for the past week. Needless to say, they decreased the dosage. Unfortunately I did not get these stupid drains out. But, I have found out that the pieces of tissues that get stuck in them really make my mom gag. That’s payback for her chasing me around the house with her mole when I was little. Oh Karma!

Hopefully these drains will come out on Monday at my next appointment. They are each 18 inches inside my back on each side and really are irritating. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I will also be speaking with my doc about the whole hair thing then. Should prove to be an eventful visit.

Hopefully my mom won’t fall off the couch in the middle of the night tonight and wake me up. If you know me at all, I didn’t ask her if she was ok, I just laughed for about 45 mins. I still laugh thinking about it. Don’t worry, she was ok and she laughed just as hard.

Well hey there

Ok, here it is….my first attempt at blogging so please be patient with me.

What’s the point? Well, there are three actually.

  1. This is for my sister Annie. She’s BRCA1 positive too. We both have burdened boobies and it’s my hope that this blog will help lift some of that burden off of her when it comes time for her procedure.
  2. I am lucky enough to have a multitude of family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances (and hopefully some people who are curious) that care about my well being.  This blog is so that they can follow my journey and get a glimpse into what my recovery is like.
  3. This is a BIG deal.  I didn’t get to this point by waking up one day and saying “I think I’m gonna get my boobs cut-off!” Sure, it’s a no-brainier for me, but it took me a while to accept that yes, I am going to have major surgery. I work in the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit) so I have seen women who have this done and have seen the immediate recovery phase.  I know there are people out there that don’t get it and hopefully this will give them a peek into my head. (Oh Lord, help them, they are in for a treat) BUT, there are people who do get why I have made this decision and this is for them.  If this blog helps just one person gain some perspective or eases some of their fears and doubts then I will consider it a success.

I want you all to know that this is NOT going to be all rainbows and butterflies and I am not going to make you think that it is.

It is going to hurt. A lot.

It’s going to cause me to have T-Rex arms for a while

I will look like a 15 year old boy from the waist up. (for a short while)

I will have 2 drains in my chest and two in my back that will piss me off I am sure.

I will act like someone peed in my Cheerios (hopefully not for long).

These are things I am expecting, but the truth of the matter is that I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ALL OF THIS WILL BE. It’s not real to me until it happens and it’s happening Wednesday. Am I nervous? Not right now, but ask me Tuesday and I’m sure I will give you a different response.

ok, enough for now…