Hot pink socks and neon Nikes

When you test positive for a BRCA1 mutation, you need to be hyper vigilant about screening.  They recommend a mammogram and MRI rotation.  If you want more info check out:

So about my “super screening”….

Let me just start off by saying that I don’t know how this stuff happens to me, but it does.  It was time for my breast MRI and this particular day I had to work and was going to my MRI directly after.  I didn’t pay much attention to what I wore this day.

I get to my appointment and they call me back to a changing room, tell me to take off all of my clothes except for my underwear, socks and shoes and put on 2 gowns, one open in the front and one that opens in the back on top…ok, I remember thinking “this is weird”. I  get to changing and turn around to look in the mirror and I am standing there in hot pink socks, neon green Nikes, and a hospital gown that comes to just below my knees.  We are talking supermodel quality here.  I knew it was bad because when I went to the room where they start your IV’s, the lady laughed.  Never good.  They start my IV and she leads me back to the MRI room where there was a closed in MRI and two women.  The older lady looks at me and says “take off your gown and get up on the table on your hands and knees”. What.the.hell?  Am I in the right place? What exactly are they gonna do to me?

So picture this:  Me, up on a table on my hands and knees in my underwear with hot pink socks and neon Nikes.  Lovely. I mean truly lovely.  Then the lady says ” see those two holes In the table? I need you to lay down and put your boobs in them.  She seriously was my new favorite person at this point. Bossy much? I wanted her to walk over and stick her boobs in the holes to demonstrate. Hah.  I do as she says, and then two women come to each side, reach under the table, grab my knockers and reposition them.  Awkward much?   They have me put my arms up on either side of my head and out infront of me.  So now I am laying on this table like superman with my boobs in holes in hot pink socks and neon Nikes. Go me.  Miss bossy pants places a remote in my hand and says “here is your panic button”. PANIC BUTTON ? You have got to be kidding me… did I say she was my favorite? I am a liar.  She then asks me what kind of music I wanna listen too and proceeds to tell me that they have Sirius.  Sweet. I tell her I wanna listen to alternative music. You know, Bastille, Pearl Jam, the neighbourhood, etc. Get my drift?  She jams these earphones in my ears (gosh I hope they were new) and turns on the music.  It was jungle music.  That was her idea of alternative.  I swear she was doing it just to torture me.  Great…  If you have ever had a closed MRI you know that they are loud.  I’m talking like construction workers are pounding on the outside of the machine.  clic click click, boom boom boom boom boom screeeeeeeeech click click click boom boom bang!   You get my point.  45 minutes of construction noise + jungle hymns = pure bliss.   I did not have to use my panic button but I thought about it once just to give my ears a rest.  MRI’s are fun!!!

moral of the story…hot pink socks and neon green Nikes are never a good idea.