Tag Archives: Boob

It has been a while…

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It has been a while…

Which is a good thing in my book.  I am finally falling into a nice rhythm.  The nerve pain seems to have eased up a little.  The muscle spasms are much less frequent (thank goodness). Every day is getting easier.  I’m not gonna lie to you, the first month back to work was EXHAUSTING.  I don’t think I have ever been that tired and worn out continually in my life.  But, for all of you out there, it does get better.  I don’t finish every day blown to smithereens.  When I first returned to work, I couldn’t sit down when I got home until I had completed everything I needed to do.  If I did, I would be toast.  Burnt to a crisp kind of toast. There were days that I made that mistake, only to wake up 2hrs later with my badge, shoes, and winter jacket on with my car keys still in my hand.  Now when I get home, I feel like a “normal” person.  Sure, I am tired, but it’s just the kind of tired you get from standing and working all day.  My scars are feeling better.  Regular bras don’t bother my lat scars even close to as much as they did.  I’m not having any pain and my ROM is very good.  No problems reaching for things for this girl.  I have noticed that I have a hard time doing things like tricep dips.  I have a feeling that has to do with the new position of my lats.  I continue to do my PT. It really isn’t difficult anymore, just an annoyance that I have to do it, but I will continue to do it because no matter how much I hated it, I feel that PT helped me the most. So, if there are any words of advice that I can offer someone having this procedure, having gone through it myself, it is DO THE PHYSICAL THERAPY.  I read a lot of other peoples blogs who are still having lots of pain 6 months, a year, 2 yrs out, and I often wonder if they were offered the extensive PT that I was and if they continually did it.  I am almost 2.5 months out from my last surgery and I must say, I FEEL GOOD!!!!  So ladies that are doing research about possibly having this done, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and it does get better!  And if any of you out there have questions, leave me a message on here, I will happily answer!  God is good.

6 week post-op recap

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So here is the 6 week post-op recap….

Looks like everything is going very smoothly.  The areas around my nipple grafts where I am having some drainage is completely normal.  He said these areas are where the stitches under the surface are trying to poke through the surface.  I should expect to have that happen until my scars settle down.

I talked to him about the difference between my breasts.  He said it could be due to a variety of things, but all in all he thinks things are progressing well and he wants me to wait another 2 months to allow them to fully settle.  We will re-evaluate then.  So I have to go back in 2 months.  My nipple scaring will have settled by then, my implants will be more settled, so we can talk about nipple reconstruction providing everything is to my liking.

He took a look at the scars on my back and thought they were looking a little bit better and didn’t want to do the steroid injections yet, if at all.  Another thing we will re-evaluate in 2 months.

As for the muscle spasms, he said he expected them to increase because of the increase in my activity.  For now, he wants to me to continue to do PT (yippee) .  He thinks it will help with the spasms and take the Valium when I need it, hopefully getting to the point where I don’t need it at all.

Speaking of PT, I was supposed to see Richard per his request today, not sure what for, but at my last appointment he asked me to come early to meet with him.  I ended up seeing Dr. Greaney first, then waited for an hour and twenty minutes to see Richard, but when they finally got his attention, he said he didn’t really need to see me, he wanted to see me in 2 months. Lol.

All in all a pretty good appointment.

After my appointment, I met up with Pinder and saw Noah.  It was a very interesting interpretation of the biblical story, but entertaining none the less.  We had heard the reviews before we went so we knew what we were up for.  Apparently a lady that was in the theatre with us didn’t know that it wasn’t a direct representation of the biblical story and she let us know that she wasn’t happy about it while we were in the bathroom after the movie.

New pics

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I just posted the newest pics of my knockers on the pictures page.  Wonder who came up with the name “knockers”.  Lol.  Anyways, you will see there is still a bit of difference between the lest and right.  Maybe my lat was more dense on the right because in am right handed? Who knows.  I also have been having some serous drainage from my right nipple graft.  I had noticed it last week, but thought it was just some staining on my bra, but then I paid attention and I noticed that I had some everyday.  There is no odor, no redness, no swelling, and it’s not hot, so I figured I would bring it up at my appointment.  On the left side there is a stitch sticking out that I can feel when I am putting lotion on (NOT aquaphor) and hopefully he can look at that too.   I wonder if the difference in my breasts are because the right hasn’t fully settled yet, or if a bigger implant should have been placed on that side because of being expanded further on the right.  I will be interested to see what he has to say about it all.

Sore

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PT yesterday was much easier than in the past so I wasn’t expecting to wake up so sore.  As soon as I moved I was aching.  Mostly under my armpits and my “side boob”.   This is where my entire lat muscle was threaded through to be placed at the base of my breast.  It’s all muscular pain, I know that.  It’s like when you go to the gym and workout real hard and really feel it the next day.  It’s just such an odd place to hurt.  My side boobs…bahhahahahaha. I also had my lats massaged out, which is more like deep penetrating pressure on them, so I think a lot of toxins were released just like they are with any massage.  I tried to drink plenty of fluids to flush them out.  I am such a wimp, I know.  But sometimes you just can’t change who you are.  Be it a wimp or a Beast.

I crashed pretty hard when I got home from work today.  Normally I am very careful not to sit down when I get home from work until I get all my stuff done, but today I made the mistake of sitting for a second to pet Vee and Lola.  Well, I woke up 2.5 hrs later with my coat still on and zipped, my sneakers on and my bag still on my shoulder.   oops.   Needless to say I wasn’t Patty productive when I got home from work today.  Oh well, I guess I needed the rest more. I am really looking forward to the day that I am “normal” again and can do simple things without needing a nap.  thursdays are usually my toughest days.  I looI forward to not being constantly exhausted.  I hope this isn’t a permanent state.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

PT no more?

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I had PT today.  First time in a little over a month, and I must say it wasn’t that bad.  I do my PT twice daily at home, but I haven’t had to take the time to drive into Philly like I was doing weekly before.  They were really impressed with my ROM, apparently I am better than “normal” and they were impressed with my strength.  2 points for T.  It was the standard appointment, moist heat, manipulation, more manipulation, massage, exercises ( I got bumped up to the blue band, strength level 3) then some stretching.  Then I got my lat scars massaged out.  Now you hear massage and think “ooohhh, i bet that felt good” no. Nope. Negative. Absolutely freakin not.  That crap hurts.  But, in the grand scheme of what I have been through, I feel like a huge weenie complaining about a little scar massage.  He was very pleased with my progress but told me I look tired and was a bit worried about that.  I told him the truth, that I am in a constant state of tired, but it’s tolerable.  and honestly, no matter when I would have returned I would be the same amount of tired.  It’s a conditioning process and I am still “in training”.  I am trying to optimize my diet so that I can ward off all of these colds that are going around (knock on wood), so I can heal faster, lose a few, and be clean inside and out.  So, no processed anything, very limited red meat ingestion, no alcohol, fish at least 2 x a week (none from pacific coast or imported from other countries), natural sugars, only from fruit, whole grains only, at least 2 probiotic servings daily (I <3 kefir), olive oil and flax seed oil, a high quality protein serving at every meal,  at least 90 oz. of water daily, and lots of green tea.  Why am I doing this?  If I did something as radical as prophylactically removing my breasts and reconstructing them, wouldn’t it be stupid to shove crap in my mouth?  What would be the point of all this if i continue to abuse my body in other ways.  It’s kind of a no brainer for me.  This surgery is an eye opening experience.  Surgery is not the end all fix all for everything, so I need to treat my body like the temple that God created and properly nourish it.  Ok, rant over.

So back to the whole title of post.  I didn’t have to make a new appointment for PT.  Dr. Greaney only has office hours on Monday and Friday.  On Tuesday and Wednesday, an outside physical therapy company uses the office for all of the patients that need PT.  The nurses are there, and on Wednesdays the nipple tattoo guy is there, but no docs.  He is going to come in on April 4th (Friday) when I see Dr. Greaney to evaluate me.  He is going above and beyond, coming in to the office on a day that he is not to be there, all to accommodate me.  Wow.  People do nice things all the time.  This helps me so much because I don’t need to make special arrangements with work for another appointment, I can combine the two.  I have a feeling that he will release me from PT then.  You have all read the words that I have put in this blog about hating PT, but in all honesty, it has helped me more than I care to admit.  I am tired daily now, but if I wouldn’t have been put through the vigorous PT,  I would be in super bad shape.  And I would probably still have T-Rex arms.  Apparently most people choose not to do the PT.  I can’t imagine they have had such great results like I have.  I am thankful for it, no matter how much I bitched about it.

Another hurdle jumped….only a few more to go.

Exhausted

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I am completely crushed. I mean, one look at me and you can tell I’m shredded. But, I must say that it is a completely satisfying kind of tired. I went to work and helped someone today. I am useful. I am productive. I am needed by someone. I care for people throughout the day and it feels good. Really good. It especially feels good when I work with women who are going through something similar to what I went through. I can offer some insight, and really understand how they may be feeling. This whole journey has been something that I have shared with whoever wanted to read, but the experience is one that is mine alone. No one can jump into my head and really know what it’s like. It would have been nice to have someone that could tell me who really knew that it would get better. What to possibly expect. I had MANY,MANY, MANY people who could tell me what I might be able to expect, or that it will be ok and I may have some discomfort, but they can’t really know because they haven’t experienced it. I appreciate all of the love and support, I am not diminishing that. It would be like me telling another woman what childbirth is like. Sure, I can give you the nursing knowledge behind it and what I have heard other women say, but I myself have never experiences it. I am not claiming to know what these women are feeling on a daily basis, what’s going on in their head, or their level of pain, but I HAVE been there, and I have an understanding ear that can listen and tell them what I experienced if they want to know. Many times patients say they hurt a lot, and a nurses response is sometimes, I understand. This is when I can say I TRULY understand. This is when I feel useful. I feel that I have a purpose. Maybe I can do something with that in the future. So even though going back to work full time is exhausting, it’s good for my soul.

I also feel needed when I walk in the door at night. My dogs are so happy to see me it’s ridiculous! This is the best feeling in the world. They follow me around, sit outside the shower until I’m done, “help” me cook dinner aka sit and wait for something to drop, make it hard to breathe while stretching because they insist on licking my face so much, and then they always need to be within an arms reach of me. Love this part of my life.
So while I am ripped to shreds every night, I’m doing it, and I am glad to be back.

Ahhhhhh…time to relax

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I made it through my first week of work!  It went by so fast, I think because I would get up, do my exercises, eat breakfast, shower, go to work, come home do whatever chores I had to do (laundry, etc.), cook dinner, do my exercises, pack my lunch, give my dogs some love then go to bed.  I have to stay on my feet and get everything done that I can when I get home before sitting down or else I won’t get back up.  I have slept like a rock this week.  Thursday was my hardest day.  I was so tired.  I needed a nap ten minutes after I woke up, and I felt that way all day. But TGIF!   I have 2 days of resting ahead of me and that’s what I plan to do.

My rash is starting to clear up.  Unfortunately, one of the side effects I get from the prednisone are lovely roses red cheeks.  I look like a raggedy ann doll.  Everyone kept making comments at work today about how rosy my cheeks were and they were worried I wasn’t feeling well, but I just explained I am on a prednisone burst and they understood.  Everyone artwork was very helpful and understanding this week.  It’s nice to work with people that look out for you.

I am really looking forward to having two days off to relax and do nothing! Well, not nothing, but at least sit down more!

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…

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I go back to work tomorrow.  It’s hard to believe.  So much has happened in so little time that its hard to really comprehend everything.  I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but tomorrow will come, and tomorrow will go and it will all be copacetic.  I just ask that you pray for me to get through the day.  One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.  My scrubs are laid out, my lunch is packed, all my certificates of training modules I had to do while out are in my bag along with lots of Tylenol and ibuprofen.  Oh to be normal again.  Well, I’m not normal, but to be doing normal things again. Lol. Wish me luck!

Cleared

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I had my appointment today with Dr. Greaney.   I set out pretty early because the last few times I have traveled to Philly the traffic has been horrible.  Not today.  Sweet, point #1 for thetracinator.  Yes, I just referred myself as thetracinator.  It’s just that kind of day.  I was 45 minutes early.  I walked into the office and thought maybe they had closed it because there was not one other patient in the waiting room.  GREAT!!!!! This day is starting off well!  Tack up #2 for me.  The receptionist yelled “Hey Trace, I’ll let him know you are here!” When I walked in.  I love that they take the time to learn my name.  I sat down for maybe 2.5 seconds and Lisa, my favorite nurse calls me back.  Point #3 for this day.  She talked to me for a while, it has been nice getting to know these people over the past few months.  It really makes me feel that they care.  I get changed and put on my crop top paper gown open in the front, but this time it’s blue.  MUCH better than that ugly mauve color they had before.  As if this matters,  apparently it did to me.  Score point #4 for me.  Dr. Greaney walks in and asks how I have been doing, and I tell him about how my back scars have been bothering me, he takes a look and agrees with the physical therapists opinion.  He explained that right now  (month 3-5 after surgery) is when your scars have the most inflammation and can really be uncomfortable.  He thinks that I may benefit from some steroid injections into the scars, but it’s too early in the healing process for that.  I have a follow up appointment in 6 weeks (my sister Annie’s birthday) and he will do them then if they are still bothering me so much.  He took a look at my breasts and was pleased.  I am now allowed to put lotion on them which was good, cues those suckers were dry.  He went over the implant massaging that I have to do daily.  Then I whipped out my handy dandy iPhone and went down my questions. (Q is me, A is Dr. Greaney)

Q:  You expanded me further in my right side, I would have thought that you would have used a different size implant.  Why didn’t you?

A:  On your left side I only cut into your nipple on the bottom half.  It was very difficult to get the expander out and put the implant in.  That’s why you see more redness on your left side.  This side had more time to settle, and didn’t need any pocket work.  Because we took off your right nipple graft and moved it, I was able to get in their and do more pocket work on that side.  I was able to form almost a perfect pocket where I could give you the same size implants and you will have symmetry on both sides once they settle which can take months.  That’s why the implant massage is so important.  We don’t want the pockets scar tissue to freeze the implant in one place.

Q:  When will they stop aching when I wake up?

A:  Sleeping keeps your body in a position for a while, and they are sore because when you get up and move around so does the implant.  This can take months to go away.  Remember, you are only 2 weeks post-op.  (I forget this all the time)

Q:  How long do I have to wear a bra?

A:  I would like you to wear a compression bra 24/7 for at least another 2 weeks.  It’s going to be more comfortable for you at work if you wear your compression bra.

Q:  When can I begin high impact exercising?

A:  3 weeks after your last surgery, so next Thursday.  You can go running and things like that, wear a very supportive bra.  I don’t suggest lifting heavy weights.  (I guess I wasn’t supposed to shovel the driveway.  Oops!)

Q:  When can I wear a normal bra?

A:  For you, I think it’s going to be a question of when your back scars will feel well enough to wear a normal bra.  You can wear one in 2 weeks if you want and it’s comfortable, but I think you will find that a regular bra is going to cut across your scars. (Looks like I’ll be letting them wild and free more often because I can, score point #5)

Q:  How about nipple reconstruction.  I will be having this done and I know you said at least 3 months, do I have to wait longer for settling? Will this be a problem when I have my implants exchanged out later in life (they don’t last forever)

A:  We can go ahead with nipple reconstruction in 3 or so months, we can talk more about the specifics of that at your next appointment, but no, you don’t have to wait.  It will not be a problem when we go to exchange out your implants in 10 or so years.  (Point #6)

Q:  I can flex my pecs like a dude.  Also, you can really see my breasts clench when I do something like open a bottle.  Will it always be like this?  (I showed him my technique and he thought it was hilarious.  I need to find some sort of competition)

A:  No.  A muscle must have 2 attachment points to function.  When surgeons do this surgery, they can split the nerve in your lat or keep it in one piece.  I keep it in one piece because if you split the nerve you can tend to see the implant more and see more rippling.  Over time this all dies down, and because your muscle does not have two connection points (only one in my shoulders), the muscle will atrophy and you will no longer experience this sensation.

I expressed to him my concerns about the possibility of my back hurting the first few weeks of work and he told me that will be likely until those muscles are built up. Take tylenol.  I was too chicken shit to ask him for pain medicine.  Being a nurse, this hinders me.  I don’t wanna seem like a drug seeker.  So I didn’t ask.  If it gets too bad I guess I can call and see if they can give me something.  Who knows,  maybe I won’t need it.  He signed my form for me to go back to work And that was that.

It was crazy to walk to the receptionist and tell her that I didn’t need an appointment for 6 weeks.  Good feeling, but strange.  I have come to know these people and they, whether they knew it or not, had become a big part of my support system throughout this interesting journey.  (score#7) May God bless them for all of the kindness they have shown.  Thank you Dr. Greaney, Lisa, Amy, Lydia, Richard, Anna, and Josephine.

I do know one thing, if I can show my patient’s one ounce of kindness they have showed me during this process I’m doing something right.  Maybe a plastic surgeon will want me to work with them to help with their breast surgeries from a recovery and emotional level.  A girl can hope!

thetracinator 7, everyone else 0

Get ready PACU people, you better prepare because as of Monday, giggles is back.

This made me chuckle

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I did NOTHING today.  Ok, so I woke up laid on the couch, took a 4 hr nap, did my exercises, and then cleaned the blood splatter off the wall that I somehow totally overlooked for the past week after Vee cut her leg. Oh, I put together a 500 piece puzzle and was on Pinterest.  This made me chuckle and I wanted to share.  I love clever hilariousness.

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