Tag Archives: boobs

I finally have me some nips!!!

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I finally have me some nips!!! Woooohoooo!  Everything went well today.  I got taken back to pre-op at 645, had to pee in a cup (oh joy), do a CHG bath, put on my purple sumo gown, answer some questions and sign some papers.  They started my IV, and the transporter came to get me and take it over.

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Nothing better than a purple paper sumo gown that blows up with hot air when you are cold.  Seriously!  The procedure took ably 1.5 hours, went to PACU, was there for ~25 mins then went to ambulatory.  I wasn’t having much pain but they wanted to give me a Percocet for the ride home so I ate some peanut butter crackers and a ginger ale.  Soon I was ready to go, got dressed and out I went. All before 1300!!!!! AWESOME!  Everyone was so nice, fortunately I had a lot of the same nurses and transporters so they recognized me from the last time.  It couldn’t have gone any better!!  I have posted a pic of what the reconstruction looks like on my pics page!  They did an awesome job.  Never in a million years would I have thought they would look so good!  He must of had to really manipulate my lat flap because I am sore on  the outside and I am a bit bruised, but only on the right…I go back in 2 weeks for a follow up, and then get my tattooing done in 3 or so months!  Thanks for all of the messages, phone calls, and well wishes!  I appreciate all of them!!!

Is this it?

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Is this it? Am I finally on my way to my last surgical procedure? Well yes I am! Hopefully this will be the last one!!!  It’s 506 am and right now I am on my way to Jefferson in Philly.  My mom came down last night to take me to my procedure.  What on Earth would I do with out her? Luckily I was scheduled to be the first case and need to be there at 700!  The 415 wake-up was a tit-bit early.  Bahhahahahaha.  Boob humor cracks me up.  So today I am having a bilateral nipple reconstruction.  I can’t believe the rough stuff is over, and I am already at this point.  The doctor said that it should be a 2 hr procedure give or take a little.  That’s a piece of cake compared to the 12.5 hr mastectomy and reconstruction I had. :)

Here is a little diagram from breastreconstruction.org that shows kinda what He will be doing today

 

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Pretty neat!  I will soon have 2 new body parts! I am so ready to have this be done!!!  Ok, time to get those volcanos 😉

 

Nipple reconstruction

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So I am finally onto the last step.  I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon last Friday to re-evaluate my readiness for nipple reconstruction.  The last time I was there, my scars were still too active to be able to proceed with this step.  He wanted me to wait a few months to see if things would settle down and “fall” into place.  Bahahaha.  Literally.  I have noticed that I am not symmetrical, but I didn’t know if it was just me being overly critical because I obsess a bit over this, or if I really was a little “off”.  The appointment went well.  He agreed with me that things were not symmetrical, and said that he could fix that when I go into the OR to have my reconstruction done.  He told me that it’s hard to get the placement correct because you never truly know how the implants are going to settle into the pocket he created.  I can’t say enough how much I like my plastic surgeon.  I really think that’s a large reason why everything has gone so smoothly for me throughout the entire process.  He was very pleased with how things were progressing.  Apparently I scar well.  That sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not.  My lat scars have almost completely disappeared, and none of my scars are raised like a keloid.  That’s ++ for me!  It never fails, during my plastic surgery appointments  I make him laugh (inadvertently) with something “random” as he says.  So as I have shown in a previous picture, my nipple grafts have hair on them.  Eeeeeewwww. Nipple hair.  Say that out loud.  It makes your nose wrinkle in disgust just saying it.  This REALLY bothers me.  The skin grafts were taken from my back, and apparently I have a hairy back.  It’s not like its dark hair, it’s very light and fine like my arm hair and you can barely see it, but I KNOW it’s there and it needs to go.  So, I flat out asked him how to get it to go away.  He laughed and said “I love how you had a major operation and the only thing that has really bothered you throughout the process is a little bit of hair on you grafts”.  He said the only thing that will really get rid of the hair is laser hair removal.  Just the thought of having that part of my body lasered makes my non-existent nipples hurt.  The only stipulation is that I have to have it done at least 2-3 weeks before my nipple reconstruction is done.  Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, it’s scheduled for July 17th.  I finally get my nipples!  Woohooo!  Anyways, I researched some places that do laser hair removal treatments, called around, and luckily I have a consult tomorrow and if I decide to go ahead with it they will do it right then.  I love it when a plan comes together.  😉 Talk about awkward phone call.  “Uh, yes, I am calling because I want the hair removed from my nipples”  I wanted to dig a hole and place my head in it.  Thankfully, they didn’t even seem to think it was odd.  I know they are professionals and do this all the time, but still… So, tomorrow I embark on yet another experience I never in a million years thought I would have…nipple laser hair removal.  Bahahahahaha. Thank the Lord that I still don’t have much sensation, because from what everyone says about laser hair removal, it feels like someone is flicking you with a rubber band over and over.  Great!!!  I will let you all know how it goes!

My Mom

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Just wanted to let everyone out there know (if they didn’t already) that this past year would have been MUCH more difficult (maybe impossible) if not for my Mom. She was there for me throughout my entire surgical recovery. She put her life on hold for 2 months to come and take care of me when it was difficult to take care of myself. She stocked my freezer full of food, helped me do the simplest of things (which at the time were the most difficult things) like wash my hair, put socks on, get out of the recliner, brush my hair, heck, you name it, she was there helping me with it. She even emptied my JP drains for me even though she said beforehand that she was sure she wouldn’t be able to do that. She drove me back and forth from Philly 2-3 times a week to get me to the doctor. She cooked for me, cleaned my house, took care of my dogs, shoveled my driveway a billion times (Uuuugh). So if you all didn’t know how awesome my mom was before, you do now. Thank you Mom for everything you have done to help me through this year. It means more than you will ever know. I am blessed to have been given a Mom as wonderful as you. I love you!

Nice

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So the last time I posted, I was telling you all how tired I was.  Yes, I am still exhausted, shattered would probably be a better term, but I got a break today.  I work with a very amazing group of people.  Sometimes, when patient census is lower and we have a lot of nurses working we get flexed down (people get the option to go home early, if no one volunteers, we have a list that shows who is next).  Well today, my co-workers were nice enough to let me be the one who got to leave work early. It was so considerate of them because oh my goodness do I need a nap and my body needs a break.

Its amazing what the human body can do when you just tell yourself you have to.  I am amazed with myself everyday at how far I have come.  My body has been through so much, but I did it.  I still have a long way to go, I know this, and I need to keep that in mind, but with people looking out for me at work like they do, I don’t have to stress so much about staying afloat.

Thank you ladies for letting me be the one that was able to leave work to come home and rest.  I appreciate your kindness more than you know.

Long time, no post

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It’s been a while since I have posted and there is a reason for that.  This phase of my recovery has easily been the hardest part.  It is hard to to work everyday.  But the hardest part is trying to manage all of the other aspects of my life along with working a full time job.  By the end of the day I am mentally and physically exhausted. There is cooking and cleaning, and bill paying and trying to figure out ways to schedule appointments, sick husbands, emergency vet trips, call, and two time a day PT. I by no means am complaining, I am just trying to adjust.  I am adjusting, s      l                o                      w                                     l                                              y.

Everyday I am exhausted.  Like if I sit down I won’t get back up kind of exhausted.  But I get up and do it because I have to.  Sometimes you just have to suck it up and just do it.  My biggest problem is my back.  Everyday after work it hurts.  Some days are better than others, but today its particularly bad.  Today was my 10th day of work in row.  Two more to go and then I get a break.  When is this back pain gonna end? I don’t know. But I do know it’s temporary and will soon stop.  I’ve been having some pain under my armpits too but it’s all muscular from my lats.  So when I come home I can take the Valium prescribed for the muscle spasms and there is relief.  The muscle spasms are getting better in the front base of my breasts, but still very present in my under arm area.

I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for this transition.  So I am trying very hard to hold it all together and get everything done.  So 530 am wake ups, to get exercises and some chores done before work, then work, then home to cook dinner do some more chores only to pass out as late as I can possibly stand.  Which is usually 10.  Last week I got done with work early one day, came home, napped from 430-800 got up, used the bathroom, and went back to bed.  I don’t even think I really sleep, I think I fall into a coma.

I will get it together,  it’s just taking me a long time, and my body can only heal so fast.  This is all temporary.  That seems to be my mantra lately, I can do it, this is temporary.

Wednesday

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Anyone that knows me well enough knows that Wednesday is my least favorite day of the week.  Why?  Well, you are stuck in the middle.  You have two days behind you, but you still have two days in front of you. Well, this Wednesday was a tough one.  I started off the day by having a dr.’s appointment at 0750.  Remember that rash I was telling you all about? Well, after trying cortisone cream during the day and an antihistamine at night, heck I even tried Pepcid, I had no success in getting rid of my rash.  In fact, it got angrier.  I walk into the office and the nurse takes me to a room and asks what is wrong and I explain and show her my stomach.  She asks me to undress from the waist up and put on a gown.  I do. The doctor comes in and asks to see and she says “wow! That looks like it itches!” Uh…yeah.  The scratch marks must have given me away. Lol.  It was worse on my breasts which is why I was so concerned.  She put me on a prednisone burst and diflucan daily just incase there is a fungus among us.  I highly doubt that though, because you can actually see the streaking where my fingers put the lotion.  I highly doubt it’s fungal but better safe than sorry.  She told me that I needed to call my plastic surgeon to update him on the situation just incase her treatment doesn’t help then I will need to follow up with him.  Ok fine.

Then I headed to work.  And it was a typical Wednesday at work.  CRAZY.  Super busy, the kind where you are running full throttle just to get the basics done. I did get a minute to call and talk to Dr. Greaney’s nurse.  She said she would update my file and let him know.  She hadn’t realized that I had gone back to work and asked how my pain was.  I told her the truth….that my back hurt, my side boobs are achy, and I am starting to get nerve pain which feels like quick little jolts of electricity when nerves are growing back on the sides of my breasts and under my armpits.  She said she would call something in and usually people need some thing for pain at night for a little bit when you work a job like I do.  Lisa is awesome. She is always one step ahead and you never feel like you are being judged.

So work got very busy after lunches passed and I ended up working a little later than I was supposed to because evenings needed the help.  I never mind doing that because we are a team and if I was the evening shift person I would be happy to have that little extra help to provide safer and more efficient care.

So, how was my Wednesday? Exhausting, my back hurts as well as my brain.  But you know what? After one dose of my prednisone and diflucan, my rash is already better and today made me feel like a productive person again.  It’s nice to feel useful.  It’s also really nice to be able to comfort those patients that come through the unit that have had the same procedure that I did.  It’s nice to feel like you are really helping someone and you are making a difference in someone’s life.  That is one thing I have learned about myself.  I need to have a job that makes me feel satisfied and fulfilled.  Yeah, we all need money, I get that, but I need to feel like I am making a difference.  Hopefully one day I will be able to do some medical mission work.  I just need to figure out how to get involved.

Hope everyone has a happy Thursday.  Thanks God for taking care of me.

Last PT for a month!

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I traveled to Philly today for what I was hoping was going to be my last physical therapy session.  Nope. Wrong.  I have to go back in a month.  I will take that.  They were very pleased with my progression.  I have full range of motion back!  My left is still tighter than my right side, but it has always been that way.  If I were guessing I would say that’s because I am right handed and use that arm more.  Who knows.

The physical therapist was looking at my back and I was telling him that my back scars bother me sometimes and sometimes they hurt.  I can’t wear racer back bra’s because they sit funny on my scars.  He felt around and said that’s because apparently my lat scars had adhered so they needed to be massaged out.  In other words, the fibers were set together like this:  image

 

When the ideal situation and most comfortable position of the scar fibers would be like this: image

 

So what did that mean for me???  That meant that I had to have a very painful massage of opposite directional friction with pressure.  It hurt.  It still hurts, and that was done around noon.  anything touching my back around those scars hurts.  I was shown how to perform this massage, and no it’s impossible to do it on yourself, so I have to teach Eric how to do this.  They suggest that I do this every day with a vitamin E lotion.   Oh boy!

i also got my bands back.  No more isometric exercises for me.  I am to go back to all of the old exercises starting with my red band and progressively moving up to green then blue.  I have no problem doing these exercises on my own so I have no doubt they will be pleased when I return.  I have to do them 2 times a day, so I will have to work them in before work and after.  I am going to be exhausted my first few weeks back at work.  Geesh…feeling slightly overwhelmed.  Might as well dive right in.  Monday is approaching quickly…. I see Dr. Greaney Friday so we shall see what he has to say.  I am gonna go just sit for a while. Wish me luck Friday.

Almost there…

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Well ladies and gentleman….the time has come!  This is my last week as a lonely shut in.  I have PT on Wednesday and see Dr. Greaney on Friday to hopefully get cleared so I can get  to go back to work the following Monday.  I am still sleeping upright on the chase in the living room.  They recommended that I sleep this way for at least 2 weeks, (Thursday will be 2 weeks post surgery) but I am still pretty sore when I get up in the morning.  Anyone have any thoughts on this?  Is this normal?  When does this go away?

I am actually nervous to go back to work.  Not because I forgot how to do my job, but my unit is very fast paced and we don’t have many chairs to sit, so I am afraid my back is going to be pretty sore.  Goodness I sound like an old maid. Hah.  I wonder if I am more prone to fatigue in my back because my lats are now in my boobs.  Looks like Tylenol is gonna be my best friend for a while.  I am sure I am going to be exhausted for the first few weeks.  But I will get there.

Hah, I just had a funny thought…I wonder if I could actually make my boobs bigger if I did a lot of exercises that isolate my lats.  If they ever start to sag, maybe this will be a way for me to have a non-medical lift!!!!  I showed my physical therapist my pec moving trick and he laughed pretty hard.  It’s way funnier when DD boobs are involved instead of some meatheads pecs.

Nothing has really changed boob wise, but I will continue to post a pic every week so you guys can see the progression and healing process if you choose to do so.

I can’t believe that this is almost over!  God is so good!

Hair talk

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Yesterday I had my second post-op appointment. I was really excited about maybe getting my drains out because the numbers had dropped under 30 (just once) so I knew it was too good to be true. The nurse stripped the drains and apparently there were clots clogging off both, and once loosened, the fluid started pouring out. Apparently I was really puffy around the drains, it’s just hard for me to notice because of the chub. Lol. Sooooooo, looks like the drains will still be in for a while. It’s been a month, hopefully not much longer.

I had my discussion with my doctor about my hair loss. It was not pulled out, I had a pressure ulcer. It had rubbed my hair completely off, but didn’t progress to skin breakdown. He looked at it, and boy was he pissed. He apologized profusely and said that should never happen, and got on the phone with anesthesia and had a nice discussion.

I got prescribed more antibiotics YAY!!!!!!! So I will be on them for the next 48 days.

So the doc takes a look at my boobs and he says “we did such a good job. They are gonna look awesome!” Yes, I was pretty excited about that. I am still molting like a reptile using aquaphor and all so I’m gonna take the loofah to the girls and slough it all off.

I have PT again tomorrow, yippee. I wonder what kind of fabulousness I will encounter tomorrow. It sucks, but I must say, the range of motion I have in my upper extremities is amazing. I am struggling with a decision about my PT. I will need to have it throughout the entire expansion process. The man who does my PT in Philly is awesome, but there is an option for me to have it here in Reading. I just worry that I will not get the awesome work done on my body that this man does. That’s a discussion I will have with him tomorrow.

So I see my doc next Monday and hopefully the drains come out and there is a possibility that the expansion process can be started. We shall see.

Oh yeah, I can wear deodorant now!!!!! I was anyway, but if got the official OK from the doc on Monday.

And…for all of you who have been asking, I will be posting pics of my tatas so you can see but I wanna wait until the expansion process starts so you can see the gradual differences. So I will post them under the picture page so if you don’t want to see it don’t look on the pic page;)

Rainbows and butterflies

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I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this surgery/recovery is all rainbows and butterflies. It sucks, it hurts, a lot of the times it feels like I have beach balls underneath my armpits. Mornings are the worst time for me. I have a hard time getting going in the morning. My body is tight from laying in one position (I still can’t lay on my side because of these stupid drains.)
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I have to do PT everyday, and it hurts, I can’t do simple things for myself like lift up a grocery bag. But, I chose this and I wouldn’t have made a different decision. So to some it seems like this is easy for me because maybe someone has done my hair and I have normal clothes on and a smile on my face, but this IS HARD. So please, if this is something you are contemplating having done realize that it is difficult.

But…I am a believer in mind over matter. Your mind is WAY stronger than any part of your body. If you tell yourself you can do something and remind yourself that pain and recovery are temporary all will be fine and soon be normal.

My appointment with my plastic surgeon is tomorrow. We will be having a discussion about my boobs, hair, and the fact that the hospital had my weight as 350 some odd pounds. Hopefully these stupid drains come out, but I am pretty sure they will be in a little longer. They are still putting out too much fluid. Better to get that fluid out than keep it in right?

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Oh and I can’t wait till Tuesday. Love you ladies.

Why

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I get a lot of people that ask me why I did this.

“Why would you just go and have major surgery when you don’t have breast cancer?”  

Well, unfortunately my genes don’t really swing in my favor when it comes to breast cancer.  I have been seeing breast cancer ravish those that I love for a long time.  In elementary school my very best friend Lindsay lost her mom to breast cancer.  What a young age to lose someone as important as your mom.   Patty was like my second mom.  I have the opportunity to prevent this from ever happening to my future kids (if I ever have them) or to my loved ones.  I’d like to think that Patty is proud of me for making this decision.  Then there was my Aunt Joyce.  She was diagnosed, and eventually went into remission.  With breast cancer though, if you opt not to have a mastectomy, the incidence of the recurrence of breast cancer in the next 5 years following the first is high. This is what happened in her case.  She lost that battle and we all watched her suffer through the trials and tribulations of trying to balance a life while feeling like you got hit by a truck.  My Aunt Patty and my Aunt Marlana, both diagnosed with breast cancer had mastectomies.  They are doing wonderfully.  So, I guess you can say that I got my strength and drive to have this procedure from my Aunt Patty and Aunt Mar.  They set a good example for me.  Thank you ladies. I love you both.

“Aren’t you attached to your breasts? Are you still gonna feel like a woman?”

Well technically my boobs are attached to me and no, I don’t feel a special “connection” with my boobs.  two fat sacks sitting on my chest…nope no connection.  I have never nursed a child so maybe if I had I would feel differently.  You can’t miss something you never had.   My boobs, to me, are not something that define me as a woman.  Last time I checked I still have other woman parts so I’m good to go there. ;).

“Just because you are BRCA1 positive doesn’t mean you will get breast cancer”

This is true.  But, for me, it was like a ticking time bomb hanging over my head. It was always in the back of my mind.  Sure, there are mammograms and MRI’s and all that happy crap to screen, but in someone my age with dense breasts, mammograms are not a good detector of breast cancer.

“Aren’t you sad that you will never be able to breast feed a child”

Uh, nope.  I would much rather be around to have a child than risk the possibility of getting cancer and not being able to have a kid.  I know plenty of women with normal breasts that have tried to breast feed and it didn’t work out.

“Aren’t you worried your boobs are gonna look funny after the surgery?”

No.  I took a while to research doctors in the area.  This was not a quick decision for me.  Sure, I could have had the procedure near my house with doctors in the area, but if I was going to do this, I wanted it to be done by doctors that specialize in this area and do these surgeries all day every day.  I could not be happier with the doctors that I chose.  My boobs are going to look better after all this then they did before.

 

Hopefully this gives everyone a little bit of insight into why I did what I did.  Feel free to ask me questions or give me input, even if you don’t agree with my choice.  Hopefully I can help people understand my choice.